Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
