Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
