Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize