So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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