atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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