thus making me awesome and them whores
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
