sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
