If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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