I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
