yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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