I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
