I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if only i could text you this smell
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
