As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
