I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got inside last night via doggy door
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
