Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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