Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
