this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just blew my weed a kiss
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
