I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
