Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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