There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
