I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
