She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
