the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
