i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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