By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize