I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
