No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
how drunk are you?
Several
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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