we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
