his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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