you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
