I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize