as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
