PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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