I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
