Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
