Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
