lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize