I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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