now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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