Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
