I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
