Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
