I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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