Your face is a jimmy john
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
