Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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