no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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