Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
