It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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