corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize