he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
