Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
