Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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