wrigley field is MILF paradise
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize