You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I AM VODKA MAN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.