so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize