called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she smelled like a LAN party
Slut skills are useful in every country.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night