Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.

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  (805): So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all. http://tfl.nu/imgn
  Replies (6) Good night (1718) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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  (912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem
  Replies (18) Good night (7214) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5112) Bad night (1361) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"

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  (817): Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside" http://tfl.nu/md9m
  Replies (12) Good night (6306) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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  (207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq
  Replies (30) Good night (5906) Bad night (1526) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

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  (585): eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch' http://tfl.nu/cs24
  Replies (7) Good night (2516) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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  (402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart. http://tfl.nu/f1o2
  Replies (5) Good night (2266) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he tried to breastfeed my turtle

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  (864): he tried to breastfeed my turtle http://tfl.nu/mp5f
  Replies (15) Good night (1504) Bad night (2603) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.

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  (804): I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast. http://tfl.nu/dcvd
  Replies (26) Good night (1568) Bad night (3241) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

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  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (1881) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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  (617): Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it. http://tfl.nu/o2t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1403) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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  (303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e
  Replies (4) Good night (2303) Bad night (402)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent

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  (651): Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent http://tfl.nu/399q
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I didn't notice because vodka

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  (832): I didn't notice because vodka http://tfl.nu/t52z
  Replies (3) Good night (1314) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?

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  (814): how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus? http://tfl.nu/r0fm
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

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