how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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